It's been said that the saddest thing a man will ever face is what might have been ? But what of the man who's faced with what was? Or what may never be? Or what can no longer be? Choosing the right path is never easy. It's a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us. But sometimes we find our way to something better. Sometimes we fight through the regret and remorse of our mistakes, our malice and our jealously and the shame we feel for not being the people we were meant to be. And that's when we find our way to something better or something better finds its way to us.
It has been 2 whole years since we have moved to utah. Moving was one of the BIGGEST decisions as a couple we have made. To pick up and leave it all behind. To start new. To move ahead with our lives. These past 2 years I have seen such a difference in our lives and I know that it was the right decision.
Has it been hard.... some of the worst pain I have ever felt being alone. Struggled with money, with work, with family, and my own heart. But what i have gained our of this move has been the greatest of all. Now don't say that i have regrets.. or that i don't feel like i hurt people who we left behind.
Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small like when we do a bad thing for a good reason. Some are bigger like when you let down a friend.
Some of us escape the pain of regret by making the right choice. Some of us have little time for regret because we're looking forward to the future. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past, and sometimes we bury our regret by promising to change your own ways.
But, our biggest regrets are not for the things we did -- but, for the things we didn't do. Things we didnt say or show.
Its so hard to go home and see people where they are in their lives. some still in the same ol' place moving no where.. some moved on grew up with out you. Some even look at us and dont see the same people.. or they want to see the old me, when i am no where near that person anymore.
My life has changed. We bought a house... a house that i will raise my children, and grow old with my husband. Im pregnant, for the first time im scared, excited and nervous all over again. But moving away and having to learn to depend on Eric and myself.. i have prepared my self for my future more then i know.
when you're young, you think nothing can hurt you. It's like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you have big plans. Big plans. To find your perfect match. The one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize it's not always that easy. It's not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. At the end, when you're looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you're leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.
